Please update your bill settings

I got an email from AT&T today. Normally this is no occasion for alarm,  I regularly get solicitations and such from them. But this subject line gave me a start:

“Please update your bill settings”

WTF?

My first response was alarm. Oh, shit, I thought my credit card expired, the payment bounced and now, I owe bazillions of dollars in returned check fees.

A bazillion dollars

A bazillion dollars

After I had breathed in and out of a paper bag for a few hours, I calmed down enough to think, “oh, it’s probably spam”. Someone was trying to get my info in a dastardly plot to wreak havoc on my credit. (Sorry, havoc has been wrecked already, spammers could do absolutely nothing to make it worse: yeah, me!)(And no, this is not a gauntlet I am throwing down for spammers/hackers/and-whateverers to come get me!)

So contrary to common sense and advice I would get from Jay Donovan, Tech Guy, I opened the email. And what did my wondering eyes perceive –

A DAMN ADVERTISEMENT FOR AUTO PAY!

WTF!

Now in a fury I composed the following letter:

Dear AT&T Marketing,

While I appreciate you being helpful, in a self-serving way, I do not want to use your Auto-Pay feature.

Why do you ask? Why wouldn’t I want you, a bill, to be able to take money out of my account when you desire it? Yes, I understand there will be a set date. That you won’t take any more than the amount due, and that all of this you are doing for my benefit.–sob

I want to express my appreciation at your sneaky underhanded approach to making sure I ACTUALLY PAY MY BILL ON TIME. The sophistry used to justify your actions is mind-boggling.

I am not a three-year old (or Lindsay Lohan) in need of a responsible adult to oversee my financial well-being.

Thank you but no, Thank you.

Fudge and nuts,

Shellie

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About Shellie Sakai

Reading is a passion. Storytelling is an obsession. Writing is inevitable.
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One Response to Please update your bill settings

  1. C. K. Crouch says:

    Hey Shellie, I agree. I’m tired of companies wanting to take their payments automatically. I usually have to wait for a certain payday to pay certain bills. That’s why I have your due date set like it is so my payment won’t be late. What if they screw up and take the money twice? the old left vs right hand thing.

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