I got an email from AT&T today. Normally this is no occasion for alarm, I regularly get solicitations and such from them. But this subject line gave me a start:
“Please update your bill settings”
My first response was alarm. Oh, shit, I thought my credit card expired, the payment bounced and now, I owe bazillions of dollars in returned check fees.
After I had breathed in and out of a paper bag for a few hours, I calmed down enough to think, “oh, it’s probably spam”. Someone was trying to get my info in a dastardly plot to wreak havoc on my credit. (Sorry, havoc has been wrecked already, spammers could do absolutely nothing to make it worse: yeah, me!)(And no, this is not a gauntlet I am throwing down for spammers/hackers/and-whateverers to come get me!)
So contrary to common sense and advice I would get from Jay Donovan, Tech Guy, I opened the email. And what did my wondering eyes perceive –
A DAMN ADVERTISEMENT FOR AUTO PAY!
Now in a fury I composed the following letter:
Dear AT&T Marketing,
While I appreciate you being helpful, in a self-serving way, I do not want to use your Auto-Pay feature.
Why do you ask? Why wouldn’t I want you, a bill, to be able to take money out of my account when you desire it? Yes, I understand there will be a set date. That you won’t take any more than the amount due, and that all of this you are doing for my benefit.–sob–
I want to express my appreciation at your sneaky underhanded approach to making sure I ACTUALLY PAY MY BILL ON TIME. The sophistry used to justify your actions is mind-boggling.
I am not a three-year old (or Lindsay Lohan) in need of a responsible adult to oversee my financial well-being.
Thank you but no, Thank you.
Fudge and nuts,