Uh, I missed the Train! And a Pope.

My code mistress extraordinaire, Christy of My Mad Mind, informed me last week that she wouldn’t be able to give me code due to a pile of up of, well, life. So here I sit with no code, no train and no twitter lounge. What’s a blogger to do?

Talk about things that happened in the World this week, that’s what!

Not many of you may know, but, I’m a lapsed catholic. Which means I gave up on the Church or it gave up on me, I’m not sure which. No one’s fault. My religion now is the Golden Rule, “Treat others as you, yourself, would like to be treated”.

That being said, imagine my surprise when I read about the Pope resigning. Instantly the writer in me saw conspiracies, plots and hidden agendas. I didn’t take his reason at face value. Why? Because it didn’t seem real. How could a man elected to the highest office of Catholicism suddenly decide to quit? For health reasons?

Those of us who have seen too many gangster movies would immediately think, “oh, yeah, a case of cement shoes health reasons.” It just seemed so sudden to resign for health reasons. Even his closest advisors had no idea what was on his mind, from what I understand. The timing was weird as well. Two days before Ash Wednesday? Three days before Lent? He gave two weeks notice, so to speak, and his last day will be February 28, right in the middle of Lent.

My writer’s mind is full of plots for a book: the Pope resign due to bad guys. The bad guys want him to change Vatican law, cover up their swindling of the Church funds and the murder of his closest advisor. Backed into a corner he resigns. This throws the bad guys into a frenzy of plans to pick his successor who will be their puppet. And out of the shadows comes the WRITER who saves the day by uncovering the dastardly plot. 

Think I can get it written before Dan Brown does? Nah, me neither! 🙂

I hope that his health does improve. That he doesn’t regret his decision to quit and finds peace with his new life.

Have a great week and stay tuned!

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The Tuesday Train and the flu

Yep, got the flu. From my husband. He tells me he wanted to show his love and unselfishness before Valentine’s Day by giving me the flu.

Awwww, how sweet! Uh, yeah, no. Thanks all the same but I would rather not be hacking up a lung right now.

So, because its hard to concentrate, I am putting filler to show the love of Valentine’s Day..

OMG! I forgot to get him a Valentine's card!

OMG! I forgot to get him a Valentine’s card!

I'll make him a Devil's food cake....

I’ll make him a Devil’s food cake….

Ice cold milk (soy if you are lactose intolerant)

Should he have milk or…….

A nice cup of coffee?

A nice cup of coffee?

Decisions, decisions. Have a wonderful week and a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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The Tuesday Train and the way I roll

Some writers do elaborate outlines, with bullet points, and character/story arcs. Or they have five pages of character notes that delve deep into their character’s ,hmm well, character.

Not me. I have tried a story/character arc. Made a really pretty arch on my paper and then sat there, staring at it. I tried outlines and character sheets. Nope, can’t do it. For the life of me I can’t do these detailed notes for my books. Why?  Because that’s not the way I roll. Because I am a …… Plantster. Half plotter – Half pantster.

Let me explain before you put that white jacket on me. I realised (after one book, three short stories and numerous blogs) that the way I plot is to write a synopsis. Just to write the story without  conversations, descriptions, timelines, dates, meals and so on. I write the story behind the story.

Holy Cow!! I have been plotting my stories without plotting my stories. This break through has stopped me from contemplating joining Writers Anonymous. “Hi, my name is Shellie and I have no clue how to do an outline”.  Now I feel less like a neurotic mess and more like a writer.

Yeah, I got a handle on this writing stuff now. Maybe. Sort of.

Thanks for stopping by and letting me expose explain myself! And yes, there are all sorts of ways to write a book. The first step? Put the words on the paper. If you don’t know where to start, start with just 50 words. And then wait a while. Then do another 50 words. Callene, you are so right. 50 words are very easy to do.

Take care.

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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The Tuesday Train and SUCCESS!

Ah HAH HAHAHAHAHAH! (evil, evil laugh)

I DID IT! The Twinkie is no more! He has bowed to my will and become the villain I knew he was! It took weeks of therapy, wine, scotch and a rubber hose but, he finally decided that he was evil incarnate!

Thank goodness that is over. I swear the next time I have a character to get of line, I think I am going to make them sit, tied up in a chair and play “We are the World” for hours until they submit. 🙂

Yes, we writers are a trifle insane. We are not normal. Writers have an imagination to the nth degree. What I mean is this: take a regular person’s imagination and hype it up on undiluted caffeine/dark chocolate/sugar/the power to create or destroy and you have a writer’s imagination.

Worlds live and die at our fingertips. People live, love, die and possibly go to Heaven/Hell in our minds. It’s like having the super, duper, secret red button that the President has for nuclear war, and we just sit there all day long pushing that button!

alien button

Funny thing though about writers, we all think we suck. Oh, yeah, the imagination is a nice sharp sword that cuts both ways. Here we are creators/destroyers of worlds and all of us think our work sucks. Even a top writer like Dean Koontz has problems with believing that his works is good.

So, don’t envy us writers, (even though we get to stay home and work in our pjs) because we are all mental cases. And I say that in the nicest possible way!

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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The Tuesday Train and kerfuffle

There is a lot of brain-busting, mind-altering kerfuffle that goes on when you live with a writer.

It takes a special person to put up with imaginary people, research of deadly toxins and odd questions, such as “what size hole will a broadsword make in a man’s chest?” My husband has listened to me talk out loud to villains, heroines who are being blond and of course the current problem, the Twinkie.

He has heard me shout, “That’s how I’ll kill him off!” Or had me ask in the middle of a family dinner, “Do you think I should send her down the dark alley or into the hold of a ship looking for the clue?”

Yes, it takes a special person to live with a writer. You think a knitter with a yarn stash has a lot of stuff? Not compared to a writer. We have books about writing, not writing, dealing with your writers block, how not to get a writer’s block, the craft of writing, everyone else’s take on the craft of writing and well, you get the drift.

Then there is the reams of paper, pens, pads of special paper, notebooks, pens, erasers, ink for the printer and the special writing programs.

To say “It takes the patience of a Saint to live with a writer” is an understatement. So I bow deeply and give thanks to the spouses, significant others, children, family and friends of writers, because without you we would just be in a padded white cell yelling,   “No, I really can make her come back from the dead with my magic spell!”

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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The Tuesday Train And it’s January….

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! We have survived 12-21-12, the Fiscal Cliff and Christmas. Now all we have to do is be faithful to all of those new resolutions that we promised to keep.

resolutions

Me?! I have one resolution that I would like to fulfill: to finish this blasted novel! Editing has been going well, the plot has the elements it needs BUT I am still having a mutiny.

mutiny

And unlike the movie, I can’t shove my character overboard. His main objection to the role I put him in is ” I feel like a villain. Why does everyone hate me?” DUH! Because you are the villain, you are the bad guy. The guy everyone loves to hate. Nope, he wants to be the bad guy who turns out to be the good guy at the end of the story. Like Snape in Harry Potter.

snape

You’ll remember that I had character problems a few weeks ago. The main character was a doofus, the sidekick was the hero and both of them sent me to the whiskey bottle.

Yeah, same story different drink this time. My villain turned out to be hiding the fact that he was the twin doofus to my used-to-be-main-character. Oh, yeah he’s evil. About as evil as the last Twinkie sitting on the shelf. He is all golden cake with a creamy inside.

Why do you ask am I having so many problems with my characters? I guess when it comes to my characters I am so happy to find them I don’t ask them the hard questions. Yes, writers have conversations with imaginary people.  When you are a writer your characters are as real to you as the real people who inhabit your life. Having a conversation with them gives you intimate knowledge that makes them come alive to your readers.

No, these conversations don’t require the use of pharmaceuticals. It’s called a wild and vivid imagination.  And lots of wine, Chardonnay to be precise. I find that my inner critic loves to tie one on. So every chance I get I try to get my inner witch drunk. That way I can write in peace, but that is a story for another day.

Speaking of stories, starting friday I am going to be post excerpts from a short story I wrote. A case of FanFiction that went a little too fruity-in-the-loops. Stay tuned.

So let’s have a glass of wine to celebrate January, resolutions and turning a villain into a cream puff.

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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The Tuesday Train and I refuse to do it

I refuse to do it.

“IT” being feed into the fear/paranoia/imagination people are having about 12/21/12.

I prefer to think about chocolate or sex or anything but “THE END OF THE WORLD” (said in a loud echoy voice).

I have such a fertile imagination that I can not only follow Alice down the rabbit hole, I can turn the hole into a chasm with purple-polka dotted roses and a Cheshire cat that is actually a woman eating tiger.

Imagination is a wonderful thing but too much and you will be headed down the abyss with a white coat on shouting “Off with her head!”

Seriously, The Mayans said the end will mark a change. It could be that we won’t see any more blonds. Or maybe the sky will turn green and the grass blue. Or just for kicks maybe they just ran out of room on that round tablet thingy.

I vote for that they ran out of room. And when they did, there was hysterical laughter around the carving for months. Every time someone said “2012” everyone would convulse into laughter. 🙂

Here is to starting the new year with laughter instead of fear.

Come on board the Tuesday Train, visit with some wonderful bloggers and make new friends!

And if you prefer Twitter, we now have the Twitter Train! Come on by, and meet some great people in the Twitter Train lounge!

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